Writing your vows can be easy-peasy, but sometimes we hit a roadblock. Don’t worry – in fact, that is the main tip when writing your vows. Worry less, enjoy more. Try to remember that:
- Your vows are about you – not about anyone else;
- It is okay to be funny;
- It has to be authentic – even if you’re quoting someone else;
- Long or short, there are no rules, as long as you’re happy.
These steps now may help you find your voice.
Try to imagine what kind of vows you want to say – more traditional? More personalised? Maybe a mixture?
It’s the voice of the vows. Think about how they will be heard. Will your vows be more funny than emotional? Be full of references to a tv show or with some personal experiences? There are no wrong answers, but you’ll benefit from identifying the tone of your vows early on.
A walk through Memory Lane
It pays off to take a bit of time before starting your vows to think about your time with your partner – the good and the bad times. How do they make you feel? Is there a significant moment in your history that changed the way you feel about them (and maybe about yourself)? Did you ever say something that touched them deep? Maybe your vows lie in the answer to these questions…
Now it’s time to think on how to frame these ideas. This is the loosest set of “guides”, because there are no rules, only suggestions.
- Maybe storytelling? – You and your partner have been through a lot together, and your wedding is the beginning of another chapter in your tale. Try to incorporate your journey together in your vows and make it an acknowledgement to the future you now share.
- Maybe a promise? – Make your vows a promise about the future you’re building together. This is a great way to make your partner know that you can see a bright path ahead and that you’re going to do your best to make this future a reality.
Time to write
After all this exercise, I bet now you feel good about what to write. So get writin’ – it doesn’t have to be good now, it doesn’t have to sound like vows, you just have to start. Any start is a good start. Get ideas in front of you and let the words flow through your fingers (with all due respect).
Time to re-write
Remember all that relaxation in the last step? Now it’s time to refine all your wonderful ideas into a more concise and coherent text. You don’t have to do it straight away – just let them sit for a while and revisit them once you’re rested.
Get acquainted to your own words, read them out loud (but make sure your partner doesn’t hear you!) and make sure you’re comfortable with the sound of your text. Make amends and refine if needed.
Get (professional) printing – Now that you’re happy with your vows, send them to email@example.com and I will print them in a beautiful vow card.
On your wedding day, don’t stress too much about your vows anymore. You’ll say them the way you wanted and it will be beautiful because it will be your truth! Try to remember that your words will make your partner smile the most beautiful smile they ever smiled. (yes, I know, excessive smile)
Have no fear – Eddie is here
If you’re still stuck and need some pep talk, Coach Eddie can help. Reach through the vow writing hotline on firstname.lastname@example.org